Presented to you by:

Brooksidekizistan Ministry of Informations

Heart & Dark Films

Beat Productions

Genie Presentations

Yakshemaz! my name is Vagz ( Va' j ), I'm like you, I like Pekz...

...its nice.

why am I called Vagz? ask my friends.. they'll tell you why

Welcome to my town of Brooksidekizistan, it located in the border of Antipoloztan, and assholes Pasigbaijan

these are me friends and people in town:

Mang Dominador, the town driver and Abortionist, Aling Durian, the Town Blair Witch

 the town folks with me of course in above

this is my neighbor, Cocoylangyagba. He is pain in my ass.

I get to masterdebate, He must masterdebate. I play with myself, He must play with his self. I pay for someone to do and play me.. He could not afford.. Great Success! (guess who's house is this and I'll kiss you)

but occasionally Cocoylangyagba and I do some bonding time as seen below

this is my home, not much but will do

and this is my pet, its name is Maxene.. Nice!

this is my mother, she is 43.. i love her

Ma hobbies,

Cross-dressing,

Broke-Back-Deering,

Pole-Dancing (sometimes with Maxene),

reading Pornographic materials..

and of course my all time favorite: wearing Hanging T's

but enough about me, and more on this place called Fontana, I've heard a lot of good things about this place. it's ambiant nature and sophisticated people that were there.. I have been assigned by the town mayor to give a visit to this so called marvelous place and learn much more of its culture and happenings so that I may bring home some information and maybe apply it to our neighborhood...

this is me, on a bus riding to fontana. I am carrying a vibrating stick toy to keep me company during the lonely nights

my first stop, the gigantic door. it took me few hours to open this humongous door but mine is much bigger. I kept pulling it so that it would open, I got tired and rested on its side

...until I figured out ze sign that says "push"

now its time to tell you the people I met there

the first local there that i met, his name according to him is Pogadildo. he seems be interested with travelers like me and other kind of travelers as well like the one in his back

next one I met in the morning was a genuine chocolate face..   no make up

the third one is an annoying one and proven to be a pain in assholes.. as annoying as his voice, a high pitched like a stranded choking chinese, but mine is still louder. this man's name is betty.

last person I have bonded time with is rather much familiar..

I felt that we have met somewhere before and that we did something together, but it is not what you think.. naughty! naughty! and horny as ever..

now i tell you story on what happened to me, I thought I find joy in glorious place Fontana but what happened is opposite of what I thought... flashback please..

as I was walking down the streets I saw this lovely lady.. her name was Misuarimar.. at that moment I fell inlove with her but alas.. She did not talk to me.. not nice!

I imagined a whole bright future with her..

back to the 4 assholes who I met, I thought I would have great sexytime with them but only 1 did sexytime with me..

I was helpess.. as all I could do was to scream like a sissy little wimpy girl (notice how our shades do not differ from one another.. now thats what i call destiny)

very horrible.. ja rule was relentless that night. in the morning I wasn't feeling good.. I could not stand up straight and it was the most painful thing I have ever felt, specially when I eant to sit or use the little girls room. I could not imagine more how much pain I would experience 9 months from now..

enough of the shit times.. I and the 4 dungholes decided to have some fun, but this time I made sure that I make enough distance from the dark one, so i decided to become the photographer to be sure no more pain in the behind.

this is the chris tucker posing. See how he blends well with the dark shadows.

this is the dildo, dildoing..

this is the annoying one

and of course, the one who i seem to be familiar with but could not remember how or why?

they had much of the pretty times and i have most of the shit times.. as seen in the following pictures below

pretty times # 1

shit times # 1

pretty times # 2

shit times # 2

pretty times # 3

shit times # 3

pretty times # 4

shit times # 5

not only did they had fun in the water but as UFC fighters as well, they demonstrated to me some of their kung-fu fighting moves as seen on TV

here is nelly doing a ddt or pedigree.. you decide

here is me and will smith trying to interlock our crotches like everytime that happens to 2 dogs after their affairs

timbaland again with the annoying one doing some kung-fu sweep high punch action

the annoying one doing a flying kick

wesley snipes.. i mean the dark one again trying to teach me muay thai patis 101

notice how lebron james seems to be in every picture in the fight?

more of the shit times, i was getting irritated by 50 cent he is always on the look out for clerks, salesladies, cashier ladies, any lady particulary with blue collar jobs in the hope of he" quote" "iaahon sa kahirapan"...

for crying out loud i saw him one time, making hit with ma mother..

but i forgive him.. he could be the father i never had. and i always wanted to know what it is like to have a little brother like shelton benjamin or a little sista like sean kingston. .

now we move on, as I was walking more in the place, you will not believe me who I saw there.. 2 familiar persons and I think you know who I'm talking about.. go ahead and make a wild guess on these 2 photos I will show you.

first one, this picture reminded me of the times where Hitler was great, Mussolini was awesome, Castro was the bomb and Marcos was well ah.. uh.. a Filipino

there is me in the back smiling like there is no tomorrow.

next photo reminded me of someone who most people would lke to make fun of, the gang and I had all the entertainment we need at his sadness, futile attempts, height and personal expense. who is he.. how I wish I could clearly remember his name but I believe it is associated with the words Coconut and Boy.

.

Poor sad man. He was never answered by his application at TELus. Now, he is living out his days at a shop in Greenhills selling fake PSPs to gullible geeks.

alas my journey was ending..

all along I did not learn anything but being tortured, betrayed, harassed and make me do things i normally wouldn't do.. so this last photograph I took of myself.. I hope would make a tattoo on your heads as it did with mine. P.S. I like the letter "V"